Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
