don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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