yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
