Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm too high and old for this...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He did a backflip because drugs
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
