This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
