i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
