Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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