found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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