The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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