I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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