Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
