i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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