I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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