also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There's always time for handjobs
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
