What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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