This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
