Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
