Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
