he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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