He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Is it because I queefed?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
jump out the window naked night went bad
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
