My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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