The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
