Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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