She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
