I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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