Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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