I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
