I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
even my farts smell like vagina
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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