I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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