We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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