so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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