I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize