Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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