I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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