How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
