u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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