We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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