i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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