I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
