Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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