Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
