i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
