im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
