We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
