My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
