I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
