She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
