Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
