are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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