I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
