i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
