You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
