if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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