Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
