Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
