Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
