Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She's the barista slut.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
