We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
