i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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