Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize