just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
is that a dick in a sweater?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
