All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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