Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
